The first thing I noticed about him was how he didn’t lift his eyes from the counter in front of him. People approach my counter tentatively, confidently, aggressively…and they look at me. This man doesn’t.
His hands are always dirty, but that’s not unusual. Homeless people often come into the store, so dirty hands aren’t uncommon.
What he buys isn’t uncommon either: oatmeal cookies, maybe a cheap frozen meal. For some reason, though, it makes me sad to see a grown man buy nothing but this kind of cheap, quick food. I’ve never seen him buy cigarettes or alcohol.
He always pays with coins, or maybe small bills. I’ve never had to break a twenty for him. I’ve never seen him use a credit card.
The most striking thing about him, though, is that he doesn’t look up at me. At most, he glances up briefly, then looks back down at the counter, or at the change he’s counting out. What happened to him, that he can’t even look up at me?
It’s easy to speculate about him. He’s probably homeless. He probably gets his small change from recycling aluminum cans. Maybe he does drugs. Maybe he has a mental illness.
Or maybe I should just leave him alone – even in my own mind. Maybe I should just let him what he is in that moment.
A customer. A human being.
Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash
How do I live thee? 